


Home Remedies

by Charming Delinquent (Raven_Ehtar)



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Comfort Food, Comfort No Hurt, Comfort Reading, Domestic Fluff, Hippie Elf, Insomnia, M/M, Robbie Rotten Needs Sleep, Sportacus to the rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 13:24:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14853581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Ehtar/pseuds/Charming%20Delinquent
Summary: Sportacus' crystal goes off, but it's not because any of the kids are in trouble. How good will he be at battling insomnia?





	Home Remedies

It wasn’t often that Sportacus’ crystal went off late at night. Lazy Town wasn’t a place where actual crimes took place, really, and when the sun went down the elf could expect the citizens below to be safe and out of trouble until the next morning. It still happened from time to time, though. The kids would have sleepovers or campouts, which would naturally mean later nights, or one of them would just have trouble sleeping and manage to get themselves in a jam. 

So when the familiar chime and bright blinking woke him from a sound sleep, Sportacus was not much more concerned than normal. He leapt out of bed, looking down to be certain he hadn’t dreamed of the crystal going off. It was still ringing for his attention. 

“Someone’s in trouble,” he murmured, the last vestiges of sleep quickly evaporating as he switched from rest to rescue mode.

He grabbed an apple and took a quick bite to wake and energize him, and then strapped on his backpack. One could never be sure what sort of shenanigans the citizens of Lazy Town would be getting up to, even at night. It was best to be prepared. 

“Door!”

Sportacus stepped out into the chill of night and the wind that whipped through the clouds. It was a mostly clear night, with a gibbous moon casting the town below in soft, gentle light. He paused to take a long breath of sweet air before taking out his telescope. He doubted he would see very much, but with his crystal still singing brightly, there was a chance. 

He scanned the town, checking first at every house and then in the streets between. There was nothing out of the ordinary that he could see, not even at the playground which he checked as a last effort. Frowning, Sportacus put the telescope away. It was a little strange to get a crystal call and to see nothing at all when he looked out. Normally he would at least see a light on in one of the houses if someone was awake. 

Worried, Sportacus braced himself and jumped from the airship. 

The town was understandably quiet as Sportacus pedaled his sky chaser, going from house to house to check on the sleepers inside. His crystal continued to sing, insisting that _someone_ was in trouble, despite what Sportacus was finding for himself as he went around the town. Everyone was accounted for, everyone was sleeping, and no one appeared to even be suffering from nightmares. There weren’t even any kittens stuck in high places to rescue. 

With no one in town in any sort of trouble, there was only one other person he could think the crystal might be going off. 

He flew over the billboard outside of town depicting a field with a cow, leapt off his sky chaser and did a quick little flip, landing beside the entrance to Robbie’s Lair. The sky chaser looped back to him and refolded itself into his backpack. 

He climbed the little silo that opened up to the tunnel leading into the Lair, opened its top - and hesitated. No one in town was in trouble, and yet his crystal insisted there was someone to rescue. Logically, that should mean Robbie was the source of the alarm. It wasn’t as though Robbie wasn’t prone to getting into scrapes, even in the middle of the night. Sportacus had, arguably, saved Robbie more often than any other citizen of Lazy Town. And if there was anyone still likely to be awake at - he checked his bracer - 3:27am, it was Robbie. 

But that was why he hesitated. He knew Robbie had a hard time falling asleep - the probable reasons for which Sportacus had a bulleted mental list with footnotes. He worried about the so-called villain, as he never seemed to get enough sleep, despite how much of his day was dedicated to being as lazy as possible. He was as certain as he could be that the signal was coming from Robbie, but there was still a small risk of waking him up from any sleep he was managing to get. 

But then, he couldn’t risk leaving him down there alone when he might be in trouble.

He lifted the lid to the passage and peered down. There was no light down there, and no sounds he could make out.

“Robbie?” He called as softly as he could while still having any chance of being heard inside the Lair. It was a long pipe, but it did echo. 

There was no reply to his call, nor to the soft metallic knock he gave before calling again, a little louder. He was debating going down with or without an explicit invitation to do so when he finally did hear something from within the Lair. It was something between a moan and a cry, and it definitely sounded like Robbie. 

All the hesitation left Sportacus in an instant. With a leap and a twist, he dove into the pipe. When he came out the other end, shooting into the Lair at high speed, he tucked into a ball and rolled. He skidded up to his feet, turning round in all directions, searching for Robbie and for whatever it was that was putting him in danger. 

“Robbie, are you okay? What’s wrong-?“

He stopped, spotting Robbie at last. He was sprawled out on his orange fuzzy armchair, long limbs going in every direction and the remains of a bowl of popcorn scattered over him and the floor around him. His face was scrunched up, but it was hard to tell exactly what his expression was, as there was… something… on Robbie’s head, obscuring Sportacus’ view. 

He took a cautious step forward, the frantic edge gone off his energy now he could see that Robbie seemed to be physically fine. “Robbie?”

Another couple of steps and Sportacus could finally make out what it was that Robbie had on his head. It was two pillows, one over each ear, held in place with a bit of rope. Through the fluff, Sportacus could see that his expression was one of exaggerated anguish, his brows drawn close and low, his mouth an almost perfect inverted ‘U.’ Even as he examined him, Robbie let out another one of those cries which had gotten Sportacus to dive headfirst down the pipe. He sounded utterly miserable, or the verge of hysterical tears, but he never opened his eyes, leaving Sportacus uncertain if he was even awake. 

He scooted forward carefully, watching Robbie’s face very closely. Was he really asleep, was he having a nightmare? Nightmares were known to set off his crystal if they were especially bad, though this would be the first time any nightmare of Robbie’s had ever alerted him. 

He was still sitting at the foot of the recliner and pushing his face close to Robbie’s to see as well as he could when Robbie opened his eyes. 

“Aaaaaghhhh!”

Robbie shrieked, flying backwards in his chair from a sitting start and kicking out with one foot, catching Sportacus in the chest and sending him rolling backwards as well. 

The kick stung and surprised him, but Sportacus turned his tumble into a roll and came back up to his feet while Robbie was still untangling his limbs. When he finally found his feet he was quite tousled, his sleeping robe askew and his normally flawless hair a mess from the pillows now lying on the floor. He glared at Sportacus, arms rigid at his sides. “What are you doing here, Sportalurk? Don’t you know how to knock?”

“I did,” he said, then pointed towards the pillows on the floor. “But I don’t think you could hear me with those, ah, ‘earmuffs’.”

Robbie looked at the pillows, his expression not exactly clearing, but showing that he understood. “Oh. Well, I suppose they’re good for _something_ at least. Well, what are you doing here? Isn’t it past your sleepy time?”

“Yes. But my crystal went off.”

He snorted. “And you came to see what I was up to, did you? You’re starting to learn, but I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong man this time. I’ve been far too busy being lazy to do anything else.”

Sportacus frowned. It wasn’t that Robbie was being particularly mean in what he was saying, he’d said much the same and worse in the past. Sportacus was rather used to it by now. No, it was the villain’s tone that caught his ear. There was a new, impatient edge to it, bordering on genuine anger, which made it much harder to just shrug off. 

“No, Robbie. Everyone else is fine, I’ve already checked. I came here to check on you. You’re the only one left the crystal could mean for me to help. “

Robbie frowned, his expression one of confusion as well as annoyance. “Well, obviously the thing needs to be repaired, it’s malfunctioning. I’m fine.”

Sportacus’ frown deepened, and Robbie fidgeted in place. It didn’t take much to know that Robbie wasn’t being completely truthful when he said he was fine, and now that Sportacus came to look closely, he could spot some clues as to why his crystal had led him here. 

Robbie’s skin, never what one would call tan at the best of times, had taken on a new level of paleness, one which forced Sportacus to recall that he had seen very little of Robbie out of doors in the last few days. Contrasting sharply with his overall pallor, the rings under his eyes were so dark they almost looked like bruises. His eyes were overly bright, and though Robbie’s posture was always terrible, now it was even worse, his head jutting forward and his shoulders hitched so high they practically touched his ears. He took another look around the Lair, and saw the whole place was strewn with the remains of junk food, half constructed devices and video cases. 

He looked back at Robbie, one eyebrow raised. “Were you having a nightmare, Robbie?”

“Only you, you cracked kangaroo,” Robbie snapped, glaring even more fiercely. 

Sportacus ignored the name calling, as he always did when it came from Robbie. It was just the way he talked. “And you haven’t had any other problems?”

“Yes,” he snapped again. “A short, blue muscle-head keeps sneaking into my Lair and giving me heart attacks. Please. Save me.” With a final scoff and frustrated throw of the hands, he walked off deeper into the Lair.

Sportacus watched him, worried. His crystal had quieted, which told him that while he hadn’t solved whatever trouble had caused it to go off, he’d at least found who it was that needed his help. He didn’t really think it had been a nightmare or any sort of outside problem. If Robbie was in trouble so late at night and had been cuddled in his chair, he had a pretty good idea of what the trouble was. 

Robbie, meantime, didn’t seem to be doing anything to any sort of purpose. He was walking up and down his table full of tools and bits of inventions, picking up an oddment here, tossing one over his shoulder carelessly there. There didn’t seem much point in the activity other than to distract him and take him further away from Sportacus. 

“Robbie. Have you been having trouble sleeping?”

“A brilliant deduction, Sportalock,” Robbie grumbled, not looking up from his distractions. “Next you’ll be telling me that I’m slightly unpleasant and not very fond of sportscandy.”

“What have you tried to help you to sleep?”

“Everything! I’ve tried the shopping network, soap operas, even those reality cooking dramas. I’ve tried every kind of cake and chip. I’ve tried tossing, turning, flopping and hanging upside down. Nothing works!”

The poor guy looked and sounded as though he were about to start crying. This was definitely the trouble. Now all he had to do was solve it.

He grinned widely, fists on hips. “Don’t worry, Robbie, I know just what to do to help you get some sleep!”

The look Robbie turned on him hinged on the desperate. “Oh, no. Please don’t. If you try to solve my not being able to sleep with exercise or sportcandy I really will go completely mad.”

Sportacus’ grin didn’t falter. “Don’t be silly, Robbie. Exercise won’t help you to sleep if you do it right before bed, and sportscandy if for _giving_ you energy.” He ran back to the tube leading to the surface and called back over Robbie’s stuttering protests.” Don’t worry, Robbie! I need to go to my airship for some supplies, and I’ll be right back!”

Robbie watched him scurry back up the pipe like an oversized blue squirrel, none of his protests having the slightest effect on him. Once alone, he huffed to himself, crossing his arms. Who’d asked Sportakook to help, anyway? He was doing just fine on his own, thank you. Stupid blue elf always sticking his nosey… _nose_ where it didn’t belong.

Still, it sounded as though he planned to solve a problem without exercise and without sportscandy. That should be interesting.

* * *

When Sportacus came back he was empty handed but his backpack looked suspiciously lumpy. Robbie eyed it, mistrustful of anything the Sportagoof brought back from that flying death trap that was meant to help him. Truth was, it had always baffled him that Sportacus would want to help him at all. Robbie was the _villain,_ after all, and he was the _hero._ Since when did the hero work so hard to save the villain, who would only go on to villain again? Who did that? 

Sportacus, apparently, who had a peculiarly naïve sort of cluelessness about certain things. His refusal to stick to his decided role as a hero was one of the things that _really_ made him hate the elf. Why couldn’t he stick to being an enemy? That would make Robbie’s life so much easier. 

Landing in the Lair with much more grace and flair than Robbie ever managed, despite having been in the Lair only a handful of times, he turned his ridiculous sunny smile on him again. Robbie shrank from it in disgust. If he liked sunshine he wouldn’t be living underground.

“You have a bathtub, yes?”

Robbie startled at the question, turning to look at the elf incredulously. “A bathtub?”

“Yes,” he said, taking off his backpack and putting it on the floor. “We are going to try a few simple home remedies to get you to sleep. The first one is a special kind of bath.”

“Oh.” Robbie wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he just pointed in the direction of the bathroom. “It’s that way.”

“Thank you.” Sportacus went past him to the bathroom, carrying the backpack. What was more, he was _walking._ Robbie wasn’t sure when the last time was he saw Sportacus just walk somewhere instead of jumping and flipping all over the place. The showoff. It was a little strange, and a bit of a relief. It was always stressful watching those flips. The kids in town called it exciting, but he was fairly certain he had it right with ‘stressful.’

After about a minute Robbie heard the water begin to run. With nothing else to do, Robbie paced around the Lair, disturbed slightly by the presence of Sportacus and how the night was unfolding. He tried to decide how he was going to qualify this event later on to himself and drew a blank. The best he could come up with was ‘crazy Sports elf being crazy,’ which as a category was becoming quite cluttered. 

When Sportacus came back to get Robbie he drew his robe around himself protectively, but followed. 

“Why does it smell like flowers?”

Sportacus smiled. He really hated that smile. “It’s all a part of the remedy,” he said brightly. “I’ve set an alarm for twenty minutes,” he said, pointing to a small device on the counter. “Just say ‘timer go’ once you’ve settled in. There’s also this washcloth to put over your eyes - don’t get it wet, you don’t want this water in your eyes - to keep out the light. Once you’re in, just do your best to relax and think of simple things. Things that make you happy.”

Robbie pulled a face but nodded to show he understood and would do as instructed, though mostly to get him out of his bathroom. He couldn’t stop himself from asking, though, “And what will you be doing while I turn into a flowery prune?”

“There are a few other remedies that take some time to get ready. I’ll do that while you relax. Don’t worry.” That stupid smile again. “I won’t snoop through your evil plans.”

“I call on your honor as a hero on that one,” he muttered. 

Sportacus saluted sharply and then left - still on his feet, rather than through the air or on his hands.

Sighing, Robbie undressed and got into the tub. It was very warm - hot, actually, and smelled even more strongly of flowers once he was in it. It wasn’t unpleasant, but he still pulled a face. _Hippie elf,_ he thought to himself, turning on the timer and putting the cloth over his eyes. 

Once he got used to the heat and flowery smell, it was actually quite nice. He could feel himself relaxing, including muscles he had no idea had been tense. After a little while he began to feel restless, however, his hands tracing invisible patterns under the water. Remembering his last instruction, Robbie tried to think of relaxing things. Things which made him happy. 

It didn’t really work. He wound up thinking of Sportacus for various reasons the whole time. Still, it got his hands to still and let him relax a little more, so there was that. 

When the timer gave a sedate little chirp, Robbie felt like a limp rag. He got out unsteadily and found a very fluffy towel waiting for him. It wasn’t one of his, so he assumed Sportacus had managed to fit it in that backpack of his. 

Dry and redressed in his pajamas and robe, he went back out into the Lair with a little trepidation. Against his expectations, not much had changed. Some of the mess left from several sleepless days had been cleaned up, and it looked like his chair had gotten a sprucing up, but that was it. Oh, and there was also the elf standing in his Lair as though he belonged there. That was different.

Robbie scowled at him without any real heat. “I smell like a herb garden.”

“Good.”

If Robbie didn’t know better, he would have said Sportacus was deliberately being a smartass.

“So what’s next, a manicure? Because my nails are already perfect.”

Sportacus laughed. Robbie tried to ignore it. “No,” he said. “Something a little simpler than that. Something you’ll like, I think. Come take a seat.”

He did so, with a very strong feeling that he should not be following the instructions of his enemy in his own home like he was. He pushed it down and watched as Sportacus picked up a tray and brought it to him. 

Robbie stared, then looked at Sportacus questioningly. “Milk… and _cookies?_ ”

The blue menace smiled and nodded. “Yes. I said you would like it.”

“It just seems very… _un-Sportacus,_ ” he said carefully, his nose beginning to twitch. “You mean you actually have cookies on that ridiculous oversized balloon?”

“Ah, no. Those are from your own stock. I brought the milk.”

Still Robbie didn’t reach for the proffered tray. “ _This_ is a remedy for not being able to sleep?”

“Well, the cookies are mostly a comfort food and to have something to go with the milk. The milk is the most important part.”

Still a little suspicious, Robbie took the tray and set it across his knees. The cookies were nice, but they were bound to be, coming from his own cupboards. The milk was a little surprising. It was warm. 

Robbie had heard about warm milk and how it was meant to help people sleep. He’d always written it off as an old wives’ tale, but with warm on the inside of him and his outsides still warm and comfortable from the bath, he could feel it working on him. He wondered if Sportacus had done something else to the milk, as it tasted slightly different from normal milk. Not bad, just different. 

Once finished he set down his glass, which was quickly taken by Sportacus, and leaned back in his chair, drowsy in spite of himself. His pillow was already waiting for him, and released a little cloud of the same smell as the bath as he leaned into it. He frowned. 

“You put flowers in my pillow?”

“A sachet in the pillowcase,” Sportacus said from the little kitchen. “You can take it out whenever you want.”

Robbie thought about taking it out right then just to spite the elf, but that seemed like a lot of effort. And besides, it still wasn’t all that bad. He’d get rid of it in the morning.

He was drowsier than he thought. When the majority of the Lair’s lights suddenly went out, he startled back awake. The Lair was dimmer, and in the dark he became more aware of the sounds. The humming, the small knocks, the occasional beep or whir, they were comforting sounds, familiar, drowning out his own thoughts and leaving him with nothing at all to think about. 

He came back to himself a little when he heard Sportacus draw up a chair beside his own. He was holding a book. 

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

“What? You think you’re too big for a bedtime story?”

“More I was thinking I am too _me_ to be read a bedtime story by _you._ ”

Sportacus shrugged, unconcerned. He pulled out Robbie’s tiny blanket, the one with the cow in the corner, and spread it over Robbie’s knees. “I would suggest someone else, but as I am the only one here, I’ll have to do.”

Robbie sighed heavily, too tired to argue. “Fine.”

“This is _Kartusch_ by Stephen Cosgrove…”

Sportacus read, the story about little creatures so worried that they would miss something important if they ever slept that they never did, and the blind snake called Kartusch who helped them. Sportacus had a soothing voice when he wasn’t shouting excitedly all the time. Soft and full of softer vowels and rolling consonants. It was a shame no one really got to hear it this way. It really was nice. This was one thing, he supposed, that he had of the hero that none of the others did. No one but him.

It wasn’t long before Robbie was deeply asleep. Sportacus had just gotten to the last page when a snore alerted him. He smiled, read the last page aloud anyway, and closed the book. 

He was pleased how well the remedies had worked. He’d brought several more books with him just in case, but it looked like only one would be needed for now. 

Quietly, Sportacus gathered up his things. It was nearly day time already, so the children would be up and wanting to play soon. 

Looking at the sleeping Robbie Rotten, he decided that it would be a good idea to take the kids to the beach. Somewhere where Robbie’s microphones wouldn’t pick up their excited voices and disturb him. 

Just before he left up the pipe, he wrote a note to Robbie, explaining where everyone would have gone that afternoon. 

_‘And you are welcome to join if you are feeling up to it,’_ he added at the end. Personally Sportacus hoped he would stay asleep. He obviously needed it. 

With one last fond look at Robbie, Sportacus went back up the pipe. He had a day with the kids to start, and Robbie had a lot of sleep to catch up on.

**Author's Note:**

> Kartusch is a real book, a part of the Serendipity series which started coming out in 1974. Sportacus’ favorite would be Catundra, which espouses the virtues of eating healthy and exercising. :)


End file.
